I think I won the penis lottery.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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