I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
