I love black thongs
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
