roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
