I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
