How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
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He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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