Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Randomize
