i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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