why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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