she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize