I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
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This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
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I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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