He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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