It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
