i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
