you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
