Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
