Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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