he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
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