we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
