Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
