yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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