Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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