hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
