Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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