Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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