I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Randomize