Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
