Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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