I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
