at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
