My brain says no but my pants say off.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
