I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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