who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize