Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
