Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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