I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
This house was built for laser tag.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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