turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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