its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
