you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
