Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Randomize
