Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
