i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
