Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
