he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
