Sponge bath it is.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
