K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
