Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
