I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
