The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
