This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Randomize
