i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
