Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
