Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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