It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
