I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
